The Wide World of Gundam Wing Wonders
by Friezaess
Summary: Come one, come all to the greatest show on earth (and the colonies)! Watch as our beloved GW characters reveal their freaky sides!


****

**THE WIDE WORLD OF GUNDAM WING WONDERS**

Disclaimer: I don't own Gundam Wing. You know it, I know it, that big purple monster standing behind you knows it.

_~*~_~*~_~*~_~*~_~*~_~*~_~*~_~*~_~*~_~*~_~*~_~*~_~*~_~*~

Step right up, folks! Here at The Wide World of GW Wonders', we explore some of the most freaky and mind boggling things within Gundam Wing'!

Marvel at the mystical powers of Heero's spandex!

Audience member: So, Heero, where do you keep you gun?

Heero: *pulls gun out of his spandex shorts* Right here. Along with all these *reaches into his spandex and pulls out an umbrella, a hat rack, a model Wing Zero, a long string of coloured handkerchiefs, and a kitchen sink* 

Audience: Oooooo!

Heero: ^_^

Behold the secret behind Trowa's hairstyle!

Trowa: You see, when I was a child, I fell into a large vat of glue, resulting in this odd-looking unibang. Unfortunately I never managed to get all of it off my face either, and sometimes my lips stick together, rendering me unable to speak.

Audience member: So that explains the muteness!

Trowa: .. ///.-; (crap, not again)

Be awestruck by the ranting Chinaman! His endless lectures will bore you to no end!

Wufei: Blah, blah, blah, WOMEN blah, blah, blah, WEAK blah, blah, blah JUSTICE!!!

Audience: *snores*

Wufei: Weak baka onnas! :( *goes off to slice something with his katanas*

Be enthralled by our performance of 1001 Uses For A Metre Long Braid'!

Duo: Use 107- *ties a bar of soap to the end of his braid* an inexpensive Soap on a Rope!'

Audience: *applauds*

Duo: Thank you, thank you. I'll be here all day! ^_^

Watch as a cute, sweet little boy goes from adorable

Quatre: Hi everyone! *waves* ^.^

to psychotic, scary and bloodthirsty and all this while he's in a Gundam!

*insert Zero System*

Quatre: Heh heh heh BWHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! I'LL KILL YOU ALL!! HA HA, HEH HEH HEH!! KABOOM! WATCH EM BURN!

(NB: _TWWOGWW _will not be held responsible for any injuries or loss of life sustained as a result of this performance.)

Enjoy Dorothy's free beauty sessions!

Dorothy: Now, if you don't have enough eyebrow hair for the forked look', simply wax some hair from other regions of your body and glue it on!

Audience: Eeeeeeew!

Come and see Bird Man performing live!

Zechs: For the last time, I'm NOT Bird Man!

Audience Member: But but that mask

Zechs: *takes off his mask and tosses it to one side* Do I look like a super hero from the 80's to you?!

Audience Member: *looks around* Where did Bird Man go?

Another Audience Member: I think that guy in the OZ uniform just killed him!

Zechs: Eeep! *dashes off, followed by angry, rampaging Bird Man fans*

Join in the fun of throwing rotten tomatoes at those who dubbed Gundam Wing' to show on Cartoon Network!

Dubber: Please! We were just trying to protect children's innocent minds!

Audience: DIIIIIIIIE! *pelt dubbers with tomatoes until they collapse*

Dubber: Oh the humanity! *passes out*

Watch as we ask the question that has plagued mankind for centuries- who is smarter: Relena or a monkey?

Monkey: *looking at computer screen which reads 1+1='* *types in 2'* 

Scientist: Very good, monkey! *gives him a banana* How's Relena going?

Second scientist: Well

Relena: *sitting in front of a computer screen with the same problem* Let's see four? *types in 4'. Computer reads incorrect'.* No eleven? *types in 11'. Again, computer reads incorrect.*

Second Scientists: We're still having some problems. 

Relena: DAMMIT! I want my banana!

Come visit the ScArY Haunted House!

*Person walks slowly through a dark, eerie looking room*

Treize: *pops up in front of them* BOO!

Person: AHHH! *runs away*

Treize: Heh heh! Being dead has its perks!

And of course, come and watch the battle of the century in our main arena!

Colonel Une: You're going down, bitch!

Lady Une: Not if I can help it! *does a Xena war cry*

Colonel Une: You are SO dead!

Zechs: *watching* It's sad, really.

Milliardo: You're an idiot.

Don't forget the disappearing act- watch in awe as with the introduction of Gundam Wing' to Western TV, the fansubs disappear like Houdini!

So come and visit The Wide World Of GW Wonders'- coming soon to a colony near you!

Heero: *pulls five tickets to the show out of his Spandex* Hey guys, I've got tickets for all of us!

Other pilots: O_O

Duo: Please tell me that's NOT where you keep the chocolate bars.

Heero: Well ^_^

Duo: That's it, I'm outta here!

****

**OWARI**

Please review ^.^


End file.
